Monday, October 19, 2009

Halloween - The Holiday of Insecurity (And You Thought the Holiday of Insecurity was Valentines Day)

I spent the last couple of weeks trying to decide what I want to be for Halloween. Actually, I've known what I want to be. A character from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: Alice, the White Rabbit, the Queen of Hearts, the Duchess, the Mock Turtle, the Cheshire Cat, the Mad Hatter, the Caterpillar, etc.

At first, I thought I wanted to be Alice. I must have perused hundreds of Alice costumes. Alice is unmistakable: blue dress, white apron and a bow for the hair. Sadly, my internet shopping has nearly corrupted a long-lived memory of one of my favorite childhood characters. The very clever, curious and innocent Alice was found in online costume stores to be a busty and leggy blonde wearing a mini ruffled skirt, a french peasant top, and an apron with a reavealing cut (among other variations). I suppose Alice could still be clever and curious in that attire, but I don't think "innocent" would fit.

In search of a longer skirt (and because I didn't want to totally ruin my image of Alice), I decided to Google for the Queen of Hearts costumes. Same story there, only black and red instead of blue and white. For days, I searched the net, incapable of settling on either an Alice or Queen of Hearts costume. This turmoil was really starting to frustrate me.

So I posted my frustration on facebook: "Jackie wants to know why 90 percent of women's Halloween costumes have really short skirts." I got a few different answers. My aunt suggested, "Because men made them." Someone else commented soon after, "Because men like them."

I got another answer:

"Maybe its because Halloween is all about being naughty, so if ya got it, flaunt it! And if you don't got it, flaunt it anyway."

It was the "if ya got it, flaunt it...if you don't got it, flaunt it anyway" part that struck me - a glib statement with a serious nugget of truth in it. I was looking at my inner turmoil about the costumes as if it was all about innocence lost. But no...it's just my insecurity about the way I think I would look in those short skirts and tight fitting halters. I'm not blond or busty, and I'm certainly not leggy at 4 feet and 11 inches tall.

But there it was in that statement....encouragement to flaunt it even if I don't got it.

I settled on a Queen of Hearts of Costume. She, at least, is a character worthy of corruption.

Update October 21: Received the costume in the mail. Tried it on. Chickened out and sending it back. Skirt so short, may as well be wearing nothing.